Unexpected Begin

To find the greatest one won't be easy. Its coming up in their way.

Last year on August when i have a study in Pare. I was met with a person who came from the same place with me. From there we met for the first time. I never expect to start relationship with any other man cause i’m on healing. But he came to me, then give me something to forget about the pain. His personality, knowledge and experience all of those things he shared makes me interested in the story. Unconsciously i start to admire him. I feel relateable to talk with. The time has over, we have to go back to where we belong.

Untill next year for a few months we never talked anymore cuz we don’t have any business to talk with. I ever thought when were come back here in the same university, we would getting closer then continue our friendship but its not. I believe its because he has his own business. Definitely there is no time to remember me again. So i tried to reach him. But i don’t know how. We are on different faculty. I have mind to register in the same organization with him. Then i was accepted. I can't believe it. In my shadow we will be busy together doing organizational activities but its not. Its turns out his period is over. My grip has been lost and I feel useless.

I must go on with new enviroment, have adapt with political things that i really don’t know. I wish he was here and teach me. I need another way. So i asked him to met me in canteen at his faculty. Then i asking all of things that i don’t understand. His answer such brainstroming me, he explain with slowly and nicely, its so easy to get the point. I feel so happy cuz after a long time we never talked but now it happen then he asked me to hang out. I can't imagine whats gonna happen.

When we hang out. He's very different. He makes my feelings go up and down. At that time i can't deny that i feel convenience. He is good listener for me. I feel so much compatible with him. There is so much eye contact between us. No matter. Then he drive me to the dorm and i feel this is the best day i have ever had. We doing the same things in the next month after. Because of that my sleep becomes a little weird. Can’t sleep easily. His shadow is all over me. He always come into my dreams. Of course i woke up ith confusion. I don’t wanna be in this way.

I don’t know why everyday i’m thinking about him. I’ve tried to figure it out but his shadow won’t dissapear. How can i get this far.  Since the first time i always hide it up. Even i felt toxic sometimes, but i still could handle on my own. I wondering about his feeling. Could it be the same?